Analyzing This: Jared Style

A Recap of my Day

2008-09-18T22:56:00.005-04:00

I'd like to say today was one of those days that went well in a stern way. Before school I tried the hypo thing, but the oxy congealing was a definite turn off. I amazed myself at my imminent stupidity.
I began the day with TV Broadcasting. First Mrs. Meany wanted to prevent herself and me from getting in trouble again by having me hastily go to the office to address my detention skipping (which I thought was about my leaving for third and fourth block the previous day, but I guess they didn't catch that... yet). When I handed her my note, Colleen got a tone with me about gym and I proceeded to argue with her (in a fairly amiable way) about my deserving to pass 11th grade gym. I am certainly writing [to whom it may concern] a letter about this. I guess Sortisio's substitute (Todorof) is gone now, too bad, he was nice. Now this guy whose name begins with C is there. He fits the VP bill all right, his feeble attempt at intimidation slithered out moments into our conversation.

I see you skipped my detention.

I'll give you "your detention". If the administration must claim detentions as a possession it would be Todorof's detention. But I digress. Ultimately, I was given an additional 3:30 for this. How long will it take the adminimess to discover me skipped classes? I give them till tomorrow. But maybe my next skipping** will have thrown them off a it more. On my way out of the office, Mr. Meany came striding through the foyer, plastered on his grin; his tool equivilent to feeling like he has power; a cry for a larger member perhaps, and belted out a little sarcasm.

Jared! We missed you in math the other day!

To which I responded with a "heh". My versitile comfort word, if you will. Luckily he spotted someone from the good ol' boys club he needed to shoot the shit with right then so I kept going back to the TV studio. It was time to commence the homecoming interviews, Donny on camera, me with the mic and the pretty face.
Donny and I wandered the halls, interviewed two people and otherwise goofed around with the camera. We'll certainly have some catching up to do, and I definitely want to amend our take on the homecoming day feature; it needs a unique catch but school rules limit creativity. Yet who wants to see the same shit over and over again? I'll find a happy medium.
After TV I had gym. I was a lil' Kloned up so my locker was giving me trouble. Recor got me the combo though (yet it was the one I was entering) and it worked. The Klon also made me fail to realize that when we were running on the track we were running for a time, so I stopped to chat with Nick, Sarah, Aaron, Walter and whoever else on the way around. When I finished Recor was surprised I took so long, because I'm usually a quick runner. When he gave me my time, I was a little shocked and said that I didn't know we were getting timed. Recor evidently did not think before responding.

What, did you think we had you running for your health?

I responded to this with a smile and he laughed, realizing that I probabaly was under that impression. Back in the wrestling room I managed to to the max amount of crunches allotted by the workout CD (80 of them) whilst my partner, Walter, made it to like 24. In the weight room I managed to hold myself on the pull-up bar military style for 59 seconds, and I had everyone cheering, hoping I'd reach a minute. Which is hard to do if you're naive to the pull up bar. I did about the third or fourth best in the class. Which is a lot better than my terrible attempt at military pull-ups the class before, I only did about three.
In the locker room I polled Walter on whether I should skip Math**. He said do it. In the gym I polled Sarah and she said don't do it. My temptation got the best of me and I found myself outside calling Big-O for a pickup. Although this security guard was eyeballing me so I hid behind someone's SUV. With that I acquired some granules after meeting with Audry, and after getting coffee with O went back to the hell hole. I gave a fucking awesome presentation in English though. I rocked those kids, they know it. I met up with Nate and we went to see Mrs. Neubeck to get some passes from detention. We talked with her about clubs and activities, and she called mrs. Glavey for me to ask her about this 'Discussion Club' they'd printed in a letter sent home. It was a misprint and it turns out to be a model UN, but that's chill with me; I'll join. I thought Nate wouldn't want to but he said he would with me, as long as it doesn't conflict with his Tuesday band practices. Cool Mrs. Neubeck stayed with us till 3:30, even though she was going to leave at 2:40. We discussed colleges, and pharmocology. It was cool. I want to visit her often.
But anyway, Grandpa picked me up and we went driving right then and there. It was a nice day. In the end I went to eat at Louie's with Mom and Grandma. It was a very nice day.

Just Plain Fuck

2008-09-11T13:36:00.005-04:00

I need an outlet for my stress, so what better than this old blog I started.
I try to be a good person. I have goals in life, targets to hit. I want to be a successful pharmocologist. I want to make people happy, for the most part, and I want to relieve my stress. But the latter don't work well together. I'm either pleasing people and getting stressed or living stress-free and pissing everyone off. I don't understand why everyone else is so concerned with my life. Just let me be. I know I'd be ten times more successful if people would just get off my case.
I'll give you an example:
I wake up tired, with a headache, but I know I have a lot to do today. I roll out of bed and begin my morning routine, but my phone rings. It's one of my friends, pissed off that I didn't come out last night because I was scrambling to finish all my papers. After I console them, my mother comes upstairs and starts yelling that I'm taking too long to get ready. I go to school, only to realize I forgot something and start freaking out due to my anxiety so I take off to a friend's house and end up skipping the whole day. I finally feel stress free, but in the process I've pissed people off and strayed off my path to success.
This is a repititive thing with me. I know I'm to blame but i don't know how to fix it. When i feel overwhelmed I get cluster-fucked and do something radical.
And now my mom is mad at me for not going to school, my friends feel neglected, I have even more work to do and I feel terrible about all of this.
I don't like being a complainer but I need to but this into words sometimes. Although putting it in words makes it seem so petty... maybe I'm becoming a nuisance to the world; people around me.
Thank you for bearing with me, though. ^_^
I have to go cut the grass.

PS: Today is September 11th.
I shouldn't talk about stress on the anniversary of a day that brought stress that I can't even comprehend, and more, to so many. My heart goes out to everyone who died and their loved ones; everyone who did their best to help, and everyone who wishes they could have done more. I just wish I could've done something to help anyone.

Bush Speech on Tribal Sovereignty

2007-12-23T17:07:00.001-05:00

Is This Chicken That I Have?

2007-12-23T13:40:00.001-05:00

Would you like to know what cracks me up? I bet you would! Nothing tickles my sense of humor like VH1, channel 61 ( on my TV). It is fucking hilarious! The dry remarks by the comedian remind of of how I think about everything and everyone. Today, I'm watching 40 Dumbest Celeb Quotes Ever. And boy, are they dumb:

"Too many O.B.G.Y.N.s aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
- George W. Bush Jr.

I wonder what he thought he was talking about... because it certainly couldn't
have been what he actually said, could it have been???

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
- Claudine Schneider claiming that Dan Quayle said the above.

Upon discovering that Dan Quayle didn't actually say this, and U.S. Representative Claudine Schneider attributed it to him as a joke, I was rather disappointed. But this is Dan Quayle we're talking about, so I had no trouble finding another quote to make up for this which was actually spoken by Dan Quayle himself.

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." - Dan Quayle

Sometimes politicians should just keep their mouths shut. Maybe get them sewn shut...

Well anyway, I'm getting sick of this already. Plus I know now that I should just do my own HTML when blogging, the features on here suck major balls. I'm speaking (or typing, if you will) about the "quote" feature in particular. It screws up the fluidity of the entire post!

That aside, I'm busy and Christmas is coming (OMGzzz), so I'll finish this post off with a word from our president on tribal sovereignty. Enjoy:

(See Post Above)

I Love [Buffalo] New York

2007-12-19T18:08:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, the only reality show I watch is I Love New York 2. Call me gay or whatever, but I've been following it for quite awhile and to tell you the truth I get a kick out of good ol' Tiffany Pollard. She's afraid of birds, parrots in particular, and it makes me laugh when I hear her weird scream. Unfortunately, tonight was the season finale. But to my contentment Tailor Made won! Don't ask me why I wanted him to win, he was just such a sociopathic freak turned bitch, he deserved it. It was too easy being Buddha, and always playing the devil's advocate with New York. But yeah, this post is really 'faggish', isn't it... Enough about New York, more about me.
Whilst on the topic of 'faggishness', I must admit that I have become a little 'dipromiscuous' myself. Yes, I coined that word. Just now. I am that fucking sweet. I've been experimenting, 'cause I guess I realized that I'm going to do what the fuck I want and do I care what you or your droogs think? Nope, not whatsoever. With whom, however, I shall keep confidential to preserve their reputation. As tarnished as I may already believe it to be, *cough*.
Now on to the Buffalo part. You'll be careful to notice I inserted it ever so cleverly into the title of this post. It snows here. Buffalo is known for that, and you (whomever you may be) probably already know that. Even though they say Rochester gets more snow than us, a fact I believe since everytime I've been to Rochester it's fucking freezing and all snow covered. Donna and I got thrown out of a Tragically Hip concert there and had to trudge back to the car >_<. Guess what my peeps! I got a tattoo, and I fucking love it. I love it enough to say I *heart* it. It's sweeter than your face. It is displayed to the left, in case you are s-l-o-w. I think spelling things out is politically correct. Well yeah, if I think it is then it is. Now I'm hotter than I've ever been, hahaha. So anyway come back and read my blog constantly. I'm going to try and update it since my memory is failing lately. Do you have love for Jared? You'd better, or I'll kick yo' fuckin' ass foo'!