Just Plain Fuck

I need an outlet for my stress, so what better than this old blog I started.
I try to be a good person. I have goals in life, targets to hit. I want to be a successful pharmocologist. I want to make people happy, for the most part, and I want to relieve my stress. But the latter don't work well together. I'm either pleasing people and getting stressed or living stress-free and pissing everyone off. I don't understand why everyone else is so concerned with my life. Just let me be. I know I'd be ten times more successful if people would just get off my case.
I'll give you an example:
I wake up tired, with a headache, but I know I have a lot to do today. I roll out of bed and begin my morning routine, but my phone rings. It's one of my friends, pissed off that I didn't come out last night because I was scrambling to finish all my papers. After I console them, my mother comes upstairs and starts yelling that I'm taking too long to get ready. I go to school, only to realize I forgot something and start freaking out due to my anxiety so I take off to a friend's house and end up skipping the whole day. I finally feel stress free, but in the process I've pissed people off and strayed off my path to success.
This is a repititive thing with me. I know I'm to blame but i don't know how to fix it. When i feel overwhelmed I get cluster-fucked and do something radical.
And now my mom is mad at me for not going to school, my friends feel neglected, I have even more work to do and I feel terrible about all of this.
I don't like being a complainer but I need to but this into words sometimes. Although putting it in words makes it seem so petty... maybe I'm becoming a nuisance to the world; people around me.
Thank you for bearing with me, though. ^_^
I have to go cut the grass.

PS: Today is September 11th.
I shouldn't talk about stress on the anniversary of a day that brought stress that I can't even comprehend, and more, to so many. My heart goes out to everyone who died and their loved ones; everyone who did their best to help, and everyone who wishes they could have done more. I just wish I could've done something to help anyone.